3-21-2012

What does it feel like to be suicidal? Hopefully this is a question you don't know the answer to. I imagine it is different for everybody and yet it is probably the same. I don't think I could adequately describe the overwhelming feelings of hopelessness and despair. Religion brings me no comfort. The hope for a state of nothingness brings far more comfort than a wish for a glorious afterlife. If there is nothing than ou have eternal peace. How does the threat of hell, brimstone, and damnation comfort a person? What is the benefit of Heaven? We get to carry on relationships that we had here on Earth? We get eternal peace and happiness? What if relationships with others doesn't bring you happiness on Earth why will it in Heaven. Are we going to be different once we reach the afterlife? At we not going to be the same person that we were here ? If we are the same than what comfort is the thought of moving on beyond the grave. I find the thought that the grave is the final resting spot for your body and soul more comforting.

Why I am Writing This

I have wanted an outlet for a while where I could express how I feel. I don't care if anyone ever reads this blog. My guess is that no one ever will. That will be okay. This is strictly for my benefit. I hope that it turns out to be a worthwhile project. I hope it turns out to be therapeutic to some degree.

I need to vent my negative emotions so sorry, to my non-existent, readers for the negativity. I hope the messages eventually take on a positive feel.

I also apologize for the crudeness of the posts ahead of time. I am definitely not a writer. My thoughts are rambling at best and strung together with duct tape and chicken wire.